First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
