we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
