you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
