ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
