i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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