He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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