just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
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