I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
