am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
