You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Randomize
