There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
