Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
