Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
