i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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