Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Vodka?
Forever.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
