somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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