Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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