Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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