I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
