Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
