Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
i need some magic done to my vagina
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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