I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
