part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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