i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
