I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
