I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
