i think my tv is drunk
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I've blown a few things in my day
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
the room spins SO much faster in panama
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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