Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
