why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
