Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
