Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Randomize
