people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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