I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
