You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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