this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
