I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
