is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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