well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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