like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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