Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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