You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
