At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
