At least make sure they are 18
Why
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Randomize
