I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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