Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
