Nicole vs. Life
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
