he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
