Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
