Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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