I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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