Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
