Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Two words: nipple clamps
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