Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
